Kiss My Knits!

After the incident with the sphinxes and the owlbears and the special sauce, we rise to the mine level which has the resurrection shrine. Val is in the lead.

GM Vaschon: Your party continues 40′ NE and arrives at an intersection. You can travel E, S, or N.
GM Vaschon rolled 1 20-sided die: 19
GM Vaschon rolled 1 100-sided die: 77
Val: >N
Aleanghi: (Quick, run faster than nick can roll!)

GM Vaschon: Your party travels 40′ North and rounds the corner. Your party sees a shadowed figure 20′ to the NE.
Val: Val holds up his hand to stop his party. can we see if the figure is facing us?
GM Vaschon: Your party sees this.
Val: Goth Kefka?
Bentein: Ew.
Aleanghi: ‘That can’t be good.
GM Vaschon: Bentein has an uneasy feeling.
Torkal: Torkal stares at it for a moment.
GM Vaschon: The figure stares at Torkal… for a moment.
Torkal: “What the hell is that?”
Val: “I don’t know. I was hoping you did.”
Aleanghi: ‘Impressive looking.
Val: Val says, “Interesting hairdo…not bad.”
Veracity: “He could at least have dressed for our date.”
Val: Val runs his hands through his own hair, admitting he likes his better though.
Palin: Palin continues to slowly rot, unaware that we have encountered Darth Pacey.

Veracity tries to work her mojo like she did with the minotaur.

Veracity: Veracity tries to turn on all the charm and smiles brightly at the gloomy looking creature. “Come here often?”
GM Vaschon: The figure is unaffected by Veracity’s wiles.
Veracity: Veracity mutters, “I knew it. Gay.”
GM Vaschon: Veracity, roll a will save
Veracity rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
GM Vaschon: Veracity takes on a glazed look of admiration and submission.
Val: hot
Aleanghi: I need that spell.
Torkal: It’s a vampire.
GM Vaschon: Veracity begins to saunter northeast.
Torkal: Torkal bodily grabs Veracity.
Veracity: Veracity struggles, determined to get to that hawt bag of ragged feathers and talons.
Palin: Damn Twilight groupies are everywhere.
Bentein: Bentein casts Hide from Undead, on himself, Val, and Ale.
GM Vaschon: The figure saves vs. Bentein’s spell.
Veracity: Poor Veracity, however, has been out-charisma’d by the Evil Undead!
GM Vaschon: The figure strokes Veracity lightly. Veracity loads her crossbow.
Veracity: Veracity looks blankly adoring. It’s enough to make you want to throw up, really.

Veracity’s “outgoing” ways have finally landed her in trouble. All our mothers were right. It starts off flirting with minotaurs, and the next thing you know you’re under the thrall of the undead, about to skewer your friends and start smoking behind the gym. Kids, don’t do drugs. Or something.

GM Vaschon: The figure directs Veracity to take out Bentein. Veracity, roll attack on Bentein.
Veracity: Since she’s a mindless willess automaton, she isn’t smart enough to do anything but a basic shot.
GM Vaschon: Oh, Veracity is quite aware and will use her maximum skills.
Veracity: oh shi….

So now we’re fighting the vampire AND the vamp. As Veracity says, “Distracted by desire for the feather ragbag, Veracity (thank goodness) shoots like a girl.” The vampire spawn (that’s what it is) bites Torkal. Veracity tries to Fascinate Bentein, then Aleanghi. She fails both times.

Veracity: I tell you, Handsome over there sucking on Torkal is just too distracting 🙁
Aleanghi: Well, we know you’re into the kinky stuff, what with the chambermaid and all.
Bentein: Emo on dwarf action, pays great on the intranets.

Bentein brilliantly attempts to cure moderate wounds on the vampire spawn. See, on the undead, curing has the opposite effect, so the vampire spawn is hurt. Torkal manages to escape from its sinister grasp. A few rounds later, though, the suckage (no pun intended) starts working for us. Veracity shoots herself in the foot.

Veracity: Veracity hops about cursing and swearing, momentarily forgetting Emo Dead Guy.
Veracity rolled 2 6-sided dice: 6 4
Veracity: sheeeee-it
GM Vaschon: Veracity takes 10 points of damage with a well placed shot
Veracity: Guys, I may kill myself. For the Team.
Bentein: That’s loyalty.
Veracity: I can’t believe that one of the most damaging shots I EVER managed to make, I make on myself!

Val: Val suddenly whips his hand out of his pocket and closes to 10′ with the vampire. He throws a handful of silver coins at the spawn’s face hoping to hit the eyes.
Val: ….what do i roll for that?
GM Vaschon: ROFL
GM Vaschon: um, you need a natural 20 confirmed

It doesn’t work, but I like the way Val thinks outside the box. As the battle continues, Ale is temporarily drained a level and Veracity is blinded.

Val: Val attempts to wrest the Fire Crossbow from Veracity’s hands, hoping to take advantage of her blindness. He suddenly grabs for it and kicks her in the shin.
Veracity: Veracity bites the person kicking her. Very hard.
Veracity: Veracity gnaws like Rollo the Fire Beetle in a feeding frenzy.

Val’s attack works! Veracity is disarmed. Val has her crossbow. Even better, our cleric Bentein hits the vampire spawn hard and kills it. Back to the darkness from whence you came, undead fiend!

GM Vaschon: Bentein sends the spawn back to death before it can turn to a gaseous form.
Val: Val decides to hold onto the crossbow while Veracity is blind anyway.
Torkal: Torkal rubs his bitten bits and says, “That felt far more disgusting than it looked.”
GM Vaschon: Veracity remains dominated, yet blinded for 1 more round. She will break her domination once she realizes her tormentor has been vanquished.
Veracity: Veracity wanders about, trying to find whoever stole her crossbow so she can inflict pain.
Bentein: Bentein smacks the spawn again just to be sure.
GM Vaschon: The spawn is quite dead.
Bentein: You never know with these guys.

Val picks his silver coins back up and loots the vampire spawn corpse. He finds a ring of resistance. Score! Val and Veracity are back to their usual behavior.

Veracity: Am I still blind and therefore, dominated and homicidal?
GM Vaschon: Veracity is freed from her domination and is no longer blind.
Veracity: Veracity lunges savagely for Val and her crossbow then.
Val: Val steps aside.
Veracity: “GIVE ME THAT!”
Val: Val looks at the crossbow and then at Veracity, “You promise to be nice?”
Veracity: Veracity accepts the bolt and looks briefly apologetic, then turns back to Val. She looks like she might stab him with the bolt.
Veracity: Veracity says through her teeth, “I am ALWAYS nice. Give me my crossbow!”
Val: Val hands it back and pats Veracity on the shoulder.
Val: “Stop trying to charm the bad guys alll the time, it keeps getting you in trouble.”
Veracity: Veracity visibly restrains herself from plunging the bolt into Val’s eye and takes the bow, forcing out a “Thank you.”

And now, we’re back at the resurrection shrine. Lo, I am risen from the great beyond!

GM Vaschon: Palin returns to life, still wearing her cursed ring that no one remembered to remove.
Palin: Thanks guys.
Bentein: I figure Bentein’s knowledge of magical items is pretty low – he doesn’t know to take it off when she’s dead.
Veracity: Besides, isn’t that how you got stuck with it? Taking it off of the dead Val?
Palin: Your point?

We decide to rest at the shrine. Our hitpoints are replenished and Aleanghi gets her level back. Everybody is ready to rise to level 4 except me, and I’m pretty close.

Palin: It’s just a matter of time. We do seem to have an inordinate amount of random encounters.
GM Vaschon: 18+ generates a random!
Palin: How come you get all the good rolls?
GM Vaschon: If I did, you would all be dead by now
GM Vaschon: My poor Drow!

So it’s nice to know that it’s not just the party that suffers from cursed dice, it’s the DM too. Otherwise we’d have died even more often. On the other hand, the adventure isn’t done – there’s always next week! Tune in again!