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D&D Classic: “Screw you guys, I’m going home.”

So in the midst of last night’s mayhem, I had occasion to think, “hey, the giant celestial fire beetle is back!” Then I realized I’d never mentioned it in the writeups. So, without further ado, here is a word-for-word excerpt from week 2 or 3. We had just discovered a lift leading down to the lower levels of the mine. We’re just tooling along, minding our own business, when all of a sudden…


GM: A celestial giant fire beetle appears out of no where.
Val:
Torkal: Don’t lie.
Veracity: “…”
Palin: It wasn’t me.
GM: I never lie.
onlinehost Val rolled 1 20-sided die: 10
Val: +3
Veracity: Where exactly did it appear? In the lift shaft? Down the hall? How far away is it?
Palin: Is this one of those “little brother” situations? Like where the little brother of the player/GM took over?
GM: a roll without a comment is nothing to me 🙂
Val: rolling for initative?
onlinehost Val rolled 1 20-sided die: 15
Palin: Is it corporeal?

Aleanghi: Aleangi approaches the beetle.
Val: Valasitor stays back.
GM: The fire beetle stands next to Aleangi.
Val: Does it look hostile?
Palin: Palin is staring in disbelief.
Aleanghi: ‘It’s my familiar.
Bentein: “Um, good beetle?”
Veracity: “You….choose insects?”
Torkal: Torkal is heavily confused and doesn’t even manage speech at the moment.
Val: “…that thing is….intimidating.”

Palin: “Does it do tricks?”
Torkal: No, seriously. The hell does a celestial giant fire beetle look like.
Val: yeah
Veracity: Veracity is staring with some repugnance. “I – really don’t like insects. Nothing needs more than four legs. Really. Anything else is sheer excess.”
Aleanghi: ‘Insects are rather useful. And it’s not much for performance.
Palin: “Can you send it down the shaft to see where the hell the lift is?” Palin is doing her freaking out internally.
Val: Ahem. um, time out. I played this game on the condition that giant fire beatles would not be joining us. 🙂
Veracity: Veracity backs up against the wall hastily, as far from the beetle as possible. She regards it with a malignant gaze.
Val: how big is giant?
Palin: Could be worse. Could be a giant dung beetle.
GM: The beetle rumbles.

Aleanghi: ((time out, as I wasn’t expecting a fire beetle either – wasn’t in the fam list in my admittedly outdated manual))
Val: lol
GM: hehe
Val: “Well um..okay. its your familiar…whats it do?”
Palin: >desc beetle
Veracity: “Well, if you MUST have insects, is there….yes, what the elf said.”
GM: You see a beetle.
Palin: Is it actually flaming, or is it just a reference to color? Because I’d kind of hoped we’d set enough things on fire.
Val: whereas i was hoping to use it to set my enemies on fire
Palin: Typical.
GM: The beetle is firey in color. Roughly 4′ girth by 4′ in length.
Palin: Wow.
Torkal: Okay, so it’s nearly as large as a dwarf.
Veracity: And does “celestial” mean it is sacred to some god, or just ambitious?
Val: or is it from the heavens?
Torkal: Hahahaha.
Aleanghi: magical beast, I believe
Torkal: “It’s just ambitious.”
GM: Celestial means its from another plane, summoned by the arcane.
Val: sounds like an alteration gone awry
Palin: Heh.
Val: ah

Tvini: So, bard, does your beetle have a name?
Veracity: Oh, okay, getting some sense of the thing now. But Veracity still hates insects (g)
Aleanghi: …..bard?
Palin: Cleric. Whatever.
Val: Val>(cheryl’s char who i forgot the name of)..”so um..what now?”
Palin: All you humans look alike to me.
Veracity: “Hey, don’t blame ME for the curst thing. If I had familiars, they’d be aesthetically a lot more pleasing.”
Torkal: Torkal’s going to finish his assessment of the beetle, shake his head, and turn back to the empty elevator shaft.
Veracity: “And Half-elven, if you please” Veracity sniffs audibly.

Torkal: “Aleangi’s got a pet. Wonderful news. We need to get the lift back.”
Val: wait, are we at the elevator shaft now? I thought we were in the mess hall
magusambrodiel: (19:57:06) GM: You are at camp where the lift should be, but the lift is not there.
Veracity: We’ve been at the elevator shaft all along.
Torkal: Learn to read, Val.
Palin: “I can’t very well call it ‘that beetle.’ I shall call it Rollo.” So, is there a panel here?
GM: The beetle looks around at the group and seeing it not worthy of its abilities burrows into the ground and disappears.
A bat flutters in.

All of us: HAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Last night’s writeup coming soon!

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  1. April 8th, 2009 at 20:07 | #1

    You know, I’ve wondered over the time since then what would have happened had I just rolled with the beetle instead of discussing with our dear DM that I had no idea what the beetle was like/could do/etc. since it’s not in my manual at all. We’d have missed out on Flambe, who is much stealthier in checking out passages – though I’d imagine the beetle wouldn’t have been bothered by a fire trap. Though, walking, it may well have set off others. And it would have been darn near IMPOSSIBLE to haul a dead 4′ by 4′ beetle to be rezzed (vs. Flambe). I’d have looked like a walking mutant flame turtle of some kind.

    It was nice to get to see Rollo again, even if as part of summon monster instead of as a fam.

    …by the way, the fire beetle isn’t on my list for summon monster, either. It must be a 3.5 addition overall. I really *should* get a 3.5 player’s manual, but I just can’t quite justify paying for it right now. :/

  2. April 8th, 2009 at 20:07 | #2

    You know, I’ve wondered over the time since then what would have happened had I just rolled with the beetle instead of discussing with our dear DM that I had no idea what the beetle was like/could do/etc. since it’s not in my manual at all. We’d have missed out on Flambe, who is much stealthier in checking out passages – though I’d imagine the beetle wouldn’t have been bothered by a fire trap. Though, walking, it may well have set off others. And it would have been darn near IMPOSSIBLE to haul a dead 4′ by 4′ beetle to be rezzed (vs. Flambe). I’d have looked like a walking mutant flame turtle of some kind.

    It was nice to get to see Rollo again, even if as part of summon monster instead of as a fam.

    …by the way, the fire beetle isn’t on my list for summon monster, either. It must be a 3.5 addition overall. I really *should* get a 3.5 player’s manual, but I just can’t quite justify paying for it right now. :/

  3. April 8th, 2009 at 20:21 | #3

    I did a little reading, and the fire beetle is actually pretty cool, if I understand it right. However, yes, there’s no way we could have taken it back to be rezzed. It just would have stayed there in the mine until the ogre found it and ate it.

    Ah, Rollo. We hardly knew ye.

  4. April 8th, 2009 at 20:21 | #4

    I did a little reading, and the fire beetle is actually pretty cool, if I understand it right. However, yes, there’s no way we could have taken it back to be rezzed. It just would have stayed there in the mine until the ogre found it and ate it.

    Ah, Rollo. We hardly knew ye.

  5. April 8th, 2009 at 23:54 | #5

    Its strange that for the summon monster spell there was nothing for the lawful neutral alignment. So I figured what could be more fun than to have fire and beetles? Well, a fire beetle of course!

  6. April 8th, 2009 at 23:54 | #6

    Its strange that for the summon monster spell there was nothing for the lawful neutral alignment. So I figured what could be more fun than to have fire and beetles? Well, a fire beetle of course!

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