D&D Classic: “Screw you guys, I’m going home.”

So in the midst of last night’s mayhem, I had occasion to think, “hey, the giant celestial fire beetle is back!” Then I realized I’d never mentioned it in the writeups. So, without further ado, here is a word-for-word excerpt from week 2 or 3. We had just discovered a lift leading down to the lower levels of the mine. We’re just tooling along, minding our own business, when all of a sudden…

GM: A celestial giant fire beetle appears out of no where.
Val: …
Torkal: Don’t lie.
Veracity: “…”
Palin: It wasn’t me.
GM: I never lie.
onlinehost Val rolled 1 20-sided die: 10
Val: +3
Veracity: Where exactly did it appear? In the lift shaft? Down the hall? How far away is it?
Palin: Is this one of those “little brother” situations? Like where the little brother of the player/GM took over?
GM: a roll without a comment is nothing to me 🙂
Val: rolling for initative?
onlinehost Val rolled 1 20-sided die: 15
Palin: Is it corporeal?

Aleanghi: Aleangi approaches the beetle.
Val: Valasitor stays back.
GM: The fire beetle stands next to Aleangi.
Val: Does it look hostile?
Palin: Palin is staring in disbelief.
Aleanghi: ‘It’s my familiar.
Bentein: “Um, good beetle?”
Veracity: “You….choose insects?”
Torkal: Torkal is heavily confused and doesn’t even manage speech at the moment.
Val: “…that thing is….intimidating.”

Palin: “Does it do tricks?”
Torkal: No, seriously. The hell does a celestial giant fire beetle look like.
Val: yeah
Veracity: Veracity is staring with some repugnance. “I – really don’t like insects. Nothing needs more than four legs. Really. Anything else is sheer excess.”
Aleanghi: ‘Insects are rather useful. And it’s not much for performance.
Palin: “Can you send it down the shaft to see where the hell the lift is?” Palin is doing her freaking out internally.
Val: Ahem. um, time out. I played this game on the condition that giant fire beatles would not be joining us. 🙂
Veracity: Veracity backs up against the wall hastily, as far from the beetle as possible. She regards it with a malignant gaze.
Val: how big is giant?
Palin: Could be worse. Could be a giant dung beetle.
GM: The beetle rumbles.

Aleanghi: ((time out, as I wasn’t expecting a fire beetle either – wasn’t in the fam list in my admittedly outdated manual))
Val: lol
GM: hehe
Val: “Well um..okay. its your familiar…whats it do?”
Palin: >desc beetle
Veracity: “Well, if you MUST have insects, is there….yes, what the elf said.”
GM: You see a beetle.
Palin: Is it actually flaming, or is it just a reference to color? Because I’d kind of hoped we’d set enough things on fire.
Val: whereas i was hoping to use it to set my enemies on fire
Palin: Typical.
GM: The beetle is firey in color. Roughly 4′ girth by 4′ in length.
Palin: Wow.
Torkal: Okay, so it’s nearly as large as a dwarf.
Veracity: And does “celestial” mean it is sacred to some god, or just ambitious?
Val: or is it from the heavens?
Torkal: Hahahaha.
Aleanghi: magical beast, I believe
Torkal: “It’s just ambitious.”
GM: Celestial means its from another plane, summoned by the arcane.
Val: sounds like an alteration gone awry
Palin: Heh.
Val: ah

Tvini: So, bard, does your beetle have a name?
Veracity: Oh, okay, getting some sense of the thing now. But Veracity still hates insects (g)
Aleanghi: …..bard?
Palin: Cleric. Whatever.
Val: Val>(cheryl’s char who i forgot the name of)..”so um..what now?”
Palin: All you humans look alike to me.
Veracity: “Hey, don’t blame ME for the curst thing. If I had familiars, they’d be aesthetically a lot more pleasing.”
Torkal: Torkal’s going to finish his assessment of the beetle, shake his head, and turn back to the empty elevator shaft.
Veracity: “And Half-elven, if you please” Veracity sniffs audibly.

Torkal: “Aleangi’s got a pet. Wonderful news. We need to get the lift back.”
Val: wait, are we at the elevator shaft now? I thought we were in the mess hall
magusambrodiel: (19:57:06) GM: You are at camp where the lift should be, but the lift is not there.
Veracity: We’ve been at the elevator shaft all along.
Torkal: Learn to read, Val.
Palin: “I can’t very well call it ‘that beetle.’ I shall call it Rollo.” So, is there a panel here?
GM: The beetle looks around at the group and seeing it not worthy of its abilities burrows into the ground and disappears.
A bat flutters in.

All of us: HAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Last night’s writeup coming soon!