Kiss My Knits!

Fiendish Dire Rat
Originally uploaded by geistart

We pick up in a cavern where we hear something scraping and chittering from behind the south wall.

Veracity: Veracity says, as she backs prudently away from the south wall, “Uh….guys.” Veracity points to the dust and debris falling from the wall. She makes sure the dwarves and the elf are between her and whatever it is.

After the GM asks if we’re all just standing around, Palin decides to swing her hammer at the wall. Out tumble twelve dire rats. Palin is buried under the wall. We’re cookin’ now!

GM: palin roll a 1d3
onlinehost: drtvini rolled 1 3-sided die: 2
Torkal: That is how many rats are in your pants.
GM: Palin will free herself in 2 rounds.
Torkal: My idea was better.

And then we fight! In the course of the fight, I am bitten on the nose and am diseased with what my teammates dub “the dire herp.” We finally kill the rats and I get better. When the rats gone, we’re able to see a hole leading into darkness. It’s too big for the Dwarves to go down, but just right for the Elf. For some reason he is not enthused about crawling face-first into a dark rat-infested hole so we leave it behind and continue on to what I call “The Little Adventure That Got Way Out Of Hand.”

Now, before I get to the adventure, I have to start with the following statement:

I AM SORRY.

I’d had literally two hours of sleep the previous night and had gone with my daughter to the circus. I was out of it. I still don’t know where the heck we were in the mines, so I hope somebody was mapping. My brain wasn’t processing well. Everybody’s detailed planning was coming out like the adults in Charlie Brown.

Val: “Wa wah wa wah wah wah.”
GM: “Wa wa wa WAH wah wa.”
Aleanghi: “Wa wah wah?”
GM: “Wah.”

Because I couldn’t make head nor tails of it, it felt like we weren’t getting anywhere. And that’s what led me to act a little rashly.

See, we’d come to another cavern, similar in size and location to the ones we’d encountered before that had necromancers and altars and other nasty stuff. We hadn’t been inside yet. Then we had the communication breakdown I mentioned, as the DM tried to give us information which we didn’t quite get, and we tried to figure out what to do, and it was all rather frustrating. It went on for a while, in this manner, until I went crazy.

Val: yes, i wasn’t arguing with that
GM: What are you arguing
Val: I was suggesting we head back and to the other circular passage
Palin: Palin glances at Torkal and grips her axe more tightly.
Torkal: Torkal nods slightly to Palin, then nods toward the entrance.
Val: Your party travels 50′ to the west and the passage ends into a NE, NW circular corridor.
Palin: Palin nods.
GM: Correct
Palin: Palin charges into the cavern.
Val: we went NW, i was suggesting we go back around and check out the NE corridor
Val: oh for god damn’s sake
Aleanghi: ….nevermind that idea.

Again, I AM SORRY. Sometimes a Dwarf’s gotta do what a Dwarf’s gotta do.

GM: The room of this cavern appears to be larger than previous encountered. It is roughly 150′ by 170′ with rocky outcroppings. There are 2 altars centered in the room… Your party notices at least 11 kobolds dressed in various garb. 2 of which appear to be necromancers…

This is kind of hard to visualize, so here’s a handy graphic. The red dotted figure represents a bad guy who was hidden who we didn’t see when we first arrived. We were outnumbered exactly two to one.

We used actual strategy to maximize our beatdown on the bad guys. Palin and Torkal are already charging the southern group. Aleanghi will cast her Great Ball of Fire at that same group. Val will fireball the northern group, and we’ll all try to free the hostages (Dwarven miners and our faithless kobold companions) before reinforcements arrive in six rounds. Did I mention that someone rang a gong to call for reinforcements when we rushed in? Well, I’m mentioning it now.

Val’s fireball wand really does some serious damage, lightening the load for everybody. It even fries that kobold rogue whom we didn’t see who surely would have backstabbed somebody. Unfortunately, on the next turn, the necromancer manages to magically bind Val for the next five rounds. The other necromancer touches Torkal with a vampiric touch, sucking 9 hit points out of Torkal and into himself. An archer shoots Bentein for nine points of damage.

Torkal: Haha. Bentowned.

The northern necromancer casts a spell. A cloud forms above Palin as the sound of sleet falls. Palin and Torkal fall to the ground. Fortunately so does the southern necromancer. Take that! Meanwhile Val, who is still frozen in place, is hit by a javelin. Aleanghi is hit again by an archer and is near death.

Palin: You know, maybe we shouldn’t have charged in after all.
Bentein: rofl Because charging always works SO WELL for us!

Aleanghi rolls her flaming sphere back over onto two of the warriors and burns them to a crisp.

Val: today Fire is on our side

Things get worse the next round, so Aleanghi takes the only action she can: she moves her flaming sphere on top of the southern necromancer, which is on the floor flailing around next to Torkal and Palin. Torkal dodges. The necromancer and Palin do not. And so, Palin takes five points for the team so that the necromancer can also be hurt. Eh, I had it coming. On the next turn, Palin eviscerates the necromancer. We gradually get things under control, kill almost everybody, and start freeing hostages… when the bad guys’ reinforcements arrive.

GM: Your party sees 6 kobolds at the entrance. 2 appear to be in robes, the other 4 carrying spears.

Robes. Why’d it have to be robes. Since it was 12:30 at night, that’s where we paused. Next time we’ll start up immediately getting our butts kicked, so it oughta be a good ‘un. See you then!