Kiss My Knits!

Hey, pambunny!

I have a friend who’s going to Malaysia on business. Is there anything you’d like to have brought to you from the good ole U S of A?

So a while back, I threw away a lollipop stick in the bathroom trash. (You have five year olds, you have sweet sticky things everywhere. Often including the five year old.) It attracted ants. I scrubbed the bathroom and lay out some borax, so they moved into the computer room, where a couple of stray honey-o’s had been left on the floor. So I cleaned the computer room and they marched into the kitchen, where they found the brown sugar, peanut butter, you name it. So I cleaned the kitchen and set out traps, and after many days, they were gone.

Four days ago was the last confirmed ant sighting.

So today I do the dishes, which have piled up to a disgraceful degree now that I don’t have to worry about the ants anymore. I clean the counter, and move some of the little boxes of stuff at the rear of the counter aside, and what do I find?

Mouse droppings. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

What. The. Hell! Did the ants subcontract out? Did they hire someone who could chew through boxes for them? And why is it still here? We have cats! Did we train them too well not to go on the counter, or are they just lazy and fat? Scratch that, they’re just lazy and fat. Perhaps if the mouse saunters between their paws and does a little dance, they’ll take care of it, but otherwise, I think we’re on our own.

So we’ll put out a Hav-A-Hart trap and set it free in the woods a ways from our house. Then perhaps the animals will pool their resources and hire a rat. Followed, I predict, by a mongoose and possibly a bear.

Grrrrrr.

ETA: I was just doing a puzzle on the living room floor with my daughter. An ant crawled across it. Great.

I really find I’m looking forward to the D&D game each week. I don’t have a lot of friends here in town, and the ones I do are in situations that make it awkward for us to get together right now. One cannot conceive, and so our child, I think, is a bit of a sore spot. The other is pregnant, and I think that my presence may remind her that not all children turn out perfectly normal, and that’s a very scary thought when you’re about to have one of your own. That leaves my cousin and his wife, who are going through a very sad and painful separation. So the D&D game is a good outlet.

The count so far: 12 dead kobolds. One dwarf in a pit. One unconscious Blasword. One cleric with a sunrod fetish. One mage on serious drugs. 400 gold being carried by me. Me! Meeeeeeee!!!

Er… yes. Sorry. Got carried away.

So thanks, party guys and DM, I’m having a blast. This is exactly what I need.

And because I have to tweak the Elf (and not in a naughty way):

OnlineHost: (Vaschon) rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
(Vaschon): omg
DRTvini: I’m lovin’ it!
(Tessima) Hah.
(Blasword):lol
DRTvini: holy crap. I’m glad I’m not in front of you.
Cadaya:
Deryka: I throw the sunrod at the kobolds so we’re not night-blind.
Deryka: Did he just shoot himself?
Cadaya: Roll again, (Vaschon).
DRTvini: I’m day blind!
(Blasword): Does the stalactite look sturdy?
OnlineHost: (Vaschon) rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
Cadaya: That’s a fumble threat. We need to see if you actually… yes, yes you do.
Deryka: He lives?
Cadaya: You fumble.
DRTvini: oh, that’s muuuuch better.
Deryka: Bah.
(Vaschon): ::mumble::
Deryka: How bad?
Cadaya: The arrow goes whizzing up into the air, hits the ceiling, and then clunks down right in the middle of the kobolds. They all look down at it, look at each other, stand up, and grab their weapons.
Cadaya: They see you now.
DRTvini: Haaa!
(Blasword): clunks!
(Blasword): do we roll initiative yet?
DRTvini: We are so toast.
(Vaschon): Holds his head in his hand and slowly shakes his head.

DRTvini: Sooo… “Kendra ate Bindi!” and the actions are… uh… hm.

DRTvini: She’s playing with her dolls.

(Tessima): (laugh!) WHAT?

DRTvini: Well, they do all sleep in the bed. And the Groovy Boys can’t seem to keep their pants up.

DRTvini: I didn’t realize it was quite the little orgy that’s apparently going on.

(Tessima): Oh my gosh. That’s hilarious.

DRTvini: But it’s fair. Because then, “Bindi ate Kendra!”

(Tessima): Journal.

DRTvini: It’s a little multi-cultural lovefest.

(Tessima): Journal, with links to the dolls.

DRTvini: Haa!

DRTvini: Naw.

DRTvini: I have my reputation as “sweet and pure” to uphold.

(Tessima): Sweet and pure knitter of scarves and director of dream weddings.

(Tessima): And host of doll orgies.

DRTvini: I should have known something was up when (she) started going “bamp chicka chika wyioooooow!”

Thank goodness my daughter can’t access the internet alone yet. When she can, I’m gonna have to pay for years of therapy.

So the shawl continues, but, I’m ambivalent about how it’s going. I randomly alternated the first two colors together so it wouldn’t be so abruptly stripey, but I’m not sure that it’s a good effect. Here are the colors. Here’s the shawl begun. Here it is in its current state. There are two more colors to go, plus a half a ball of the purple you see on the bottom edge. The first two colors blended all right, but I think it’s going to be an abrupt change in the middle there, and I’m not sure it’s going to work. I’m considering frogging it (ripping it out).

This really doesn’t seem like the kind of thing the intended recipient wears, so maybe I should hang onto this yarn for socks or something.

Opinions?

As a parent, I find stories of Stupid Kid Stuff hilarious. So let me heartily recommend Jeff Vogel (of Spiderweb game software fame) and his website, Irony Central. In particular, The Story About The Baby.

Heh. Dopey babies.

My husband has figured out a way to use his Linux box to make my computer say stuff. He types on his keyboard, and my Mac repeats aloud what he types. So now he’ll be over, doing something on his computer, and my Mac will suddenly say, “Do you want to play a game?” or it’ll whisper, “Kill kill kill!”

Me: “You’re going to do this from work and freak me out, aren’t you?”

Him: “Oh yeah.”

Great.

Congratulations! You have the Red Plague! Known
today as Smallpox, you are highly contagious,
suffering from fever, chills, headache and a
terrible backache. Within days you will develop
a red rash over most of your body. You will
then probably develop pus-filled blisters on
your skin. You will be sick for weeks. The good
news is the mortality rate is only 25% (good
odds for the Middle Ages!). The bad news is you
will probably be left with ugly pox marks. On
the plus side, you will be forever immune to it
if you survive. Too bad you will probably give
it to everyone in your family.

Which Medieval Plague Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

the fabric, I bought a pattern, and I cleaned up the den so I have a place to sew this thing. I plan on making it tonight.

But apparently, that’s not quick enough.

As usual, my daughter lives by her personal code of “If you want something done, you’ve got to do it yourself.”

Why did I even bother? I could have just gotten her a yellow bandana!

(By the way, her T-shirt is custom-made via cafepress by my husband, and has a peace sign, heart, and penguin. The back has bigger versions and reads “Peace, Love, and Linux.” Here’s the link. That’s Daddys’ little geek!)