Girl Scouts today was an unmitigated disaster that ended in us leaving after 20 minutes and me lecturing Emily that she would have been able to do the activity (making a kaleidoscope) if she’d paid better attention and listened. This was true, mind you, but I shouldn’t have been saying these things while I was so upset. At least I didn’t yell. In hindsight, if she didn’t want to do the activity, I should have pulled her aside again (I’d pulled her aside twice in the 20 minutes we were there) to remind her not to be abrupt when rejecting the other girls’ help and not to continually complain that she didn’t want to do the activity. Then we could have just watched the other girls, or gone to another area while they finished up that activity, then seen if she was ready to join in the next one. (I should add here that she told me as we were leaving that she didn’t want to do the activity because she didn’t know how to do it.)
I could have handled the whole situation better. I shouldn’t have been so quick to take us home. It’s just frustrating, because she consistently says she wants to be a girl scout and go to meetings, and yet sometimes she also says that she doesn’t want to go. However when I ask if she wants to stop going or really not go, she says no. She wants to do it, but it’s just too much for her sometimes.
But while I know that she’s got issues, she really COULD have looked in the general direction of the girl telling them what to do, or watched the hands of another girl, or accepted their offered help, or tried harder to listen, or remembered to say “I don’t understand.” Em gives up easily. I can’t let it slide every time just because she’s different – it’s not fair to her in the long run. It’s a lot harder to help her if she won’t help herself. And yet, she’s only nine, and I wasn’t the boldest child either. I can tell you how effective “just suck it up” would have been with me (not that I said that or anything even close). It’s just tough to know where the balance is.
If this troop did more guided activities, like singing or playing structured games, it would be better for Em, yet I don’t think there’s another troop with room for her. Anyway, now I’m upset and sad and frustrated and angry, and I know Em knows it.
I’m taking five while she plays “pretend girl scouts” with her dolls. I’m taking this time to reflect on how I could have done things differently today. I think I’ll handle things better next time, and I think Em will too.
I have to go out briefly this evening, and I’m bringing home mini-marshmallows for hot cocoa. Sipping hot cocoa with marshmallows and bashing kobolds while playing D&D tonight sounds like just what the doctor ordered.
I think the worst is perhaps the little rational creature that perches in the back of your skull, watching you lose your patience and your frustration getting the better of you. Mine just tsks and keeps up a quiet litany of “He really can’t hear you, ya know.”
All I can say is that as amazing as you are as a wife and mother, you’re still human and these days happen. When I lose it I take the break and clear my head. I do apologize to him or we simply discuss it when the emotions have calmed down. It doesn’t prevent me from blowing up the next time but it helps to have some mutual forgiveness when we’ve had a bad day.
I don’t think there’s very much that cannot be soothed with mini-marshmallows. Hang in there chica.
I think the worst is perhaps the little rational creature that perches in the back of your skull, watching you lose your patience and your frustration getting the better of you. Mine just tsks and keeps up a quiet litany of “He really can’t hear you, ya know.”
All I can say is that as amazing as you are as a wife and mother, you’re still human and these days happen. When I lose it I take the break and clear my head. I do apologize to him or we simply discuss it when the emotions have calmed down. It doesn’t prevent me from blowing up the next time but it helps to have some mutual forgiveness when we’ve had a bad day.
I don’t think there’s very much that cannot be soothed with mini-marshmallows. Hang in there chica.
Thanks. I made a seeking her out for play together later, and she seemed more willing to let me give her hugs and kisses than usual, so I think we’re all good.
Thanks. I made a seeking her out for play together later, and she seemed more willing to let me give her hugs and kisses than usual, so I think we’re all good.
We have had our difficult scout meetings as well. And yes. Hot cocoa with the little marshmallows and gaming does make it feel a little better.Now all I need is the hot cocoa. And little marshmallows. And gaming. S’ok, and we still love you. Lots 🙂
We have had our difficult scout meetings as well. And yes. Hot cocoa with the little marshmallows and gaming does make it feel a little better.Now all I need is the hot cocoa. And little marshmallows. And gaming. S’ok, and we still love you. Lots 🙂