AIEEEE!! It’s escaped!!
Oh, no. Wait. False alarm. It just ripened.
Texture: creamy, firm, and pockmarked, like the love child of a plantain and Edward James Olmos. Odor: Extremely strong tropical fruit smell. Like the Dole factory floor in July.
At this point, it’s ready to eat. Unfortunately, we were booked up all day yesterday and didn’t have time to set up containment facilities required by the protocols for dealing with extraterrestrial fruits. It’s in the refrigerator, loosely tied in a plastic shopping bag. Hopefully the cold will slow its growth. Hey, it worked for The Blob.
Tonight, we’ll perform the surgery. God help us all.
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