Kiss My Knits!

GM Vaschon: Ok! Last we left our intrepid adventurers, I believe everyone leveled to 4, beat the rap from the magistrate, restocked items and were ready for action.

There are three days until the slavers are coming back, so we decide to go back to the mine for a while and clean out illusion-filled level four. You may remember that this is the level where we first encountered the term “fleshy statue.”

We exit the lift and move westward, toward the area where the robed figures vaporized most of the party. There’s supposed to be a 30 foot long passage leading to a chamber. Instead, we walk for 200 feet and apparently make no progress. Another dastardly illusion!

Sadly, I do not have a log of the misadventures that follow. You’ll just have to imagine witty dialogue for all the thing we tried. Those include using the illusion-detecting spectacles, walking together as a group, walking individually, figuring out what we can throw down the neverending hall, and searching repeatedly for a mechanism to control the floor.

Our rogue wasn’t with us, so the searching went slowly, but we finally did find some buttons on the wall. Now you’ll have to imagine witty dialogue as one of us presses the buttons in different combination while the rest of us walk to and from the group, seeing whether the rest of the group gets closer or recedes. Holy moly, it was weird. It was like watching a child try to drive a car by randomly pushing pedals and spinning the wheel. It has no idea what it’s doing, but that doesn’t make it any less deadly.

Miraculously we get the floor straightened out. Everybody who has walked away to try to figure out what’s going on begins to reassemble. I’m beginning to think that nothing down here is real, but by gum, we’ve figured this out, at least. We’re feeling victorious! All of a sudden…

GM Vaschon: The ceiling above opens and a spider descends.
Aleanghi: ‘Oh dear.
GM Vaschon: The spider appears somewhat translucent.
Palin: I disbelieve!
Torkal: SEEMS LEGIT
Torkal: Oh. A phase spider. I hope it does something awesome like teleport Bentein into a wall.
Veracity: Veracity leaps to one side with alacrity, yelping, “What the hell is THAT!”
Torkal: Torkal gets his charge on!
GM Vaschon rolled 1 6-sided die: 2
Palin: Palin does not believe that there is a spider there.
Palin: I’ll believe it when someone gets eaten.
GM Vaschon: The phase spider lunges at Palin.
GM Vaschon rolled 1 20-sided die: 17
Palin: CRAP!
GM Vaschon: It hits
Palin: Palin believes! Palin believes!

We all roll badly for initiative. The next round, the spider gets the first attack.

GM Vaschon: Spider, Veracity, Ale, Torkal, Klyx, Bentein, Palin
Round 1: Spider decides to attack Palin again for non belief!
GM Vaschon: Believe in me now! It lunges and misses.
Veracity: Oh great, a touchy spider 😛

Everybody gets a hit in on it. Then it’s my turn.

Palin: It’s clubbering time!
Palin: Get it? Because I have a giant… flaming…
Torkal: …
Palin: Okay.
Veracity: grin
Palin: I hit it with my club.
Torkal: I attack… THE DARKNESS!
Palin: heh.
GM Vaschon: Palin swings and misses.
Palin: NOOOOOO!!!!!
GM Vaschon: Round 2: Spider attacks.
GM Vaschon: He hits Palin
Palin: “Listen, you AGH!”
GM Vaschon rolled 3 6-sided dice: 1 4 2
Palin: It cut off my soliloquy!
Aleanghi: Man. Disbelief is costing you terribly.

The next round, we start to suck again. Ale misses with her great ball of fire. Torkal misses with his giant axe. Klyx flubs his attack so badly he winds up on the ground. Finally, after the rest of the party wounds it, Palin takes it down.

GM Vaschon: The spider squeals once as it turns its corpse upwards in a death throe.
Palin: YES!
Veracity: Hooray!
Palin: Palin kicks the corpse. Then she hits it again with the club. Then she spits on it.
GM Vaschon: The spider remains dead.
Palin: “I believe you’re DEAD, how about THAT?”

Palin burns off the rest of her poison (not with literal fire, mind you), Veracity gives the corpse a kick for good measure, and we all move off to the west. We come to a dead end where there isn’t supposed to be one. This is a bad night to be without our rogue.

We decide we should stop for the night. Another week may bring inspiration. And so we camp there, on level four, with the crazy illusions.

For those wondering about the “I attack the darkness” reference, maybe you didn’t click on the link, so watch it here! It’s just too good to miss!

We adventure again tonight. Godspeed!