{"id":2355,"date":"2009-11-11T12:23:00","date_gmt":"2009-11-11T16:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/?p=2355"},"modified":"2009-11-11T12:23:00","modified_gmt":"2009-11-11T16:23:00","slug":"dd-week-36-part-one-the-deck-of-many-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/?p=2355","title":{"rendered":"D&D Week 36 Part One: The Deck of Many Things"},"content":{"rendered":"

GM Vaschon: <\/b>Alright! We begin in this rocky cavern with a monstrous (no pun intended) chest. You’ve leaped the mushrooms successfully and discovered there are no obvious exits other than back the way you came or roughly a 50′ drop.<\/i><\/p>\n

We think the back wall may be magical, but we can’t figure out anything else about it, so we let it go because there’s a big honkin’ chest in the middle of the room.<\/p>\n

GM Vaschon: <\/b>The chest is intricately designed, there is a big latch on the front. It does not appear to be locked. The chest is 8′ by 8′ by 4′.<\/i><\/p>\n

Val isn’t with us yet, but like kids at Christmas, we can’t wait. Naturally, we open it.<\/p>\n


\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Your party peers into the chest and discovers 50 cards laying face down in the chest. The cards are laid out in 5 rows of 10. There does not appear to be any special design from just looking at it.<\/i><\/p>\n

Aleanghi can tell they’re magical, but that’s all she can tell. Veracity cautiously tries to turn one over with an arrow, but it won’t budge.<\/p>\n

<\/a>
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Well. Dare I?
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>You? I dunno. Palin? That chick has balls.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Palin attempts to turn over, with her hands, the card in the uppermost left corner of the chest.
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Palin turns over card number one.<\/a> A brilliant flash occurs and she is now holding something in her hands.<\/i>
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>AWESOME.
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>FRICKIN’ LASER BEAMS!
\nBentein: <\/b><\/font>ON THEIR HEADS
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Palin is holding a +2 longsword of shock.<\/i>
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>There is a sudden stampede towards the chest.
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>LOL
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>your longsword is lesser shock, so thats an additional 1d6 of damage<\/i>
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>I strongly recommend everyone else turn one over. Maybe you’ll get a cool weapon. Or maybe you’ll get decapitated. But I like those odds!
\n
<\/p>\n

<\/a>
\nNext up: Aleanghi!
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>Okay then, Aleangi is going to select card 50.
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>(Okay, so this is either like the darkbox – cool or hurting – or perhaps like Let’s Make a Deal – cool or idiotic. We’ll see.)
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>I’m not broke yet, it can’t be a darkbox.
\n(Again, hilarious if you play Dragonrealms.<\/a>)
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>As Ale picks up the last card<\/a> in the deck, she appears somewhat changed.<\/i>
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Ale passes Go, collects 200 and levels to 5.<\/i>
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>Wow. That’s – pretty awesome.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Can I trade?
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>lol<\/i><\/p>\n

Bentein’s turn!
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>Veracity nudges Bentein forward. Perhaps a little peremptorily.
\nBentein: <\/b><\/font>Well, he knows when he’s being told! He’ll just take a random grab.
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>This is all so tidy so far!
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>WHY DID YOU JINX US?
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>As Bentein turns the 25th card, he appears somewhat changed….<\/i>
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>HE HAS HERPES NOW
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>He has all his hair again?
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>He’s a werewolf.
\nBentein: <\/b><\/font>Well, he hardly notices he’s carrying all his gear, it seems.
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>“No, Bentein. You are the demons.”
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>AaaaaaaaRRRRRRRROOOOOOOooooooo
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>He has gained +1 to his permanent strength<\/i>
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>I must say, so far you have all beat the odds, unfortunately.<\/i>
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Unfortunately??
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>Oh crap
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>oh, did I say that?<\/i>
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>I feel like Urkal when I said that.<\/i><\/p>\n

Torkal picks!
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>It’s a Deck of Many things dialed down. It’s possible for it to own us so hard.
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Torkal will choose card number 37.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Since I’m not familiar with a deck of many things, I’m calling it a deck of awesome things!
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Except you’re about to watch me get screwed.
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>::breathless anticipation::
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>This is better than Vegas.
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Torkal, roll a 1d20<\/i>
\nTorkal rolled 1 20-sided die: 3<\/i>
\n<\/a>Torkal: <\/b><\/font>I’m betting permanent HP loss. But we’ll see.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Loss of 1d20 organs.
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>As Torkal turns the 37th card<\/a>, a large bull dog lopes into existence.<\/i>
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Wait, Torkal now has a familiar?
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>You have a new companion, yes.<\/i>
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>“It’s drooling. It wants to play with you, Torkal.”
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Is it mortal or magical?
\nBentein: <\/b><\/font>“It sorta looks like you.”
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>You know, when I got my sword, I thought it rocked. Now I’m not feeling so great about it.
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>It is mortal, has 28 hp and does 1d6 bite attack.<\/i>
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>That’s – pretty neat, all in all.
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Shit, son. That’s pretty amazing. Does it level up?
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>I want to have Torkal and his pimpdog roll oldschool.
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>Veracity’s familiar raven sits on her shoulder and glares at the dog.
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>His dog has more HP than *I* do.
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>The dog is not only intelligence 40, a godlike genius, it is the sexiest thing you have ever seen. It is even attractive to Bentein, who was born without a penis.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>That seems unlikely. The intelligence, I mean.
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Good call.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>DWARF TAG TEAM!
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>SHAZAAM!
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>((Just start singing “Roll me over, Rover”))
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>I wouldn’t really seriously diss the group’s healer.
\n
<\/p>\n

Val isn’t with us at the moment, but we know he’d want to pick. Torkal picks on his behalf. What results is the worst case of “I just got here, what happened?” ever.
\n<\/a>
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Val will choose card 23.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Why 23?
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>DO NOT QUESTION THE HAIR
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>As Val turns the 23rd card<\/a>, he appears somewhat changed.<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>what?!
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>i just got back here what just happened?
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>ROFLMAO
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Oh no.
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>AHAHAAHAHAHA
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>A+ TIMING SON
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>ahahahaha
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>wtf?
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Val can choose one of his rogue or ranger professions to now become monk<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>excuse me?
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LAWL TO THE MAX
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Okay, let’s catch Val up. I can’t sto laughing.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Okay, we opened the chest and it had a bunch of cards face down in it. And we all turned over one card and got something awesome. So we thought you’d want one too, so Torkal just turned up your card.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>And that’s where you come in.
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Torkal rolled for you, since you just got back, I’ll allow you to choose<\/a> if you prefer.<\/i>
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>But it could be worse, could be better, you never know. You could also choose not to turn one<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>does this mean i get a monk level or i have to switch profs?
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>If you choose to accept the turn Torkal did for you, one of your professions will be changed to a monk<\/i>
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Most. Inappropriate profession. Ever.
\n<\/a>
\nVal, who is the quintessential rogue, understandably doesn’t want to be forced to switch to monk, so he opts to pick again for himself.<\/p>\n

Val: <\/b><\/font>i guess i’ll pick 24
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>As Val turns the number 24 card<\/a>, he gets an intense look of concentration.<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>ooo
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Val can choose to utilize a natural 20 one time on an attack or a skill<\/i>
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>Beats being forced to be a monk.
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>thats probably something incredibly useful i’ll never use because i’ll be sitting on it waiting for an ever more perfect opportunity. But it’s nice to know i have it nonetheless.
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>It’s a security d20.
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>yeah, well, consider that this is something<\/a> you could have pulled so stop yer whining.<\/i>
\n

\n<\/a>
\nVeracity picks!
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>Veracity reaches out one finger and rests it on the back of the thirty-third card for a moment, hesitating, then with a quick movement, flips the card face up.
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>As Veracity turns the 33rd card<\/a>, a contemplative look crosses her face.<\/i>
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>Woo hoo!
\nGM Vaschon: <\/b>Veracity gains 2x xp until next level<\/i>
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>Okay, it isn’t as sexy as a big black dog, but I like it!<\/p>\n

Palin: <\/b><\/font>I wonder what would happen if I tried to turn over another one…
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>Go for it.
\nBentein: <\/b><\/font>DEATH
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>Do it
\nPalin: <\/b><\/font>You guys are like the devil and angel on my shoulder. Except you’re all the devil.
\nVeracity: <\/b><\/font>grin<\/p>\n

I’m stopping here because I’m out of time, but believe me when I say the mysterious chest of mystery isn’t done with us yet. Tune in again!
\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

GM Vaschon: Alright! We begin in this rocky cavern with a monstrous (no pun intended) chest. You’ve leaped the mushrooms successfully and discovered there are no obvious exits other than back the way you came or roughly a 50′ drop. We think the back wall may be magical, but we can’t figure out anything else […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[76],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2355"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2355"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2355\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}