{"id":2034,"date":"2009-05-12T19:57:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-12T23:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/?p=2034"},"modified":"2009-05-12T19:57:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-12T23:57:00","slug":"dd-week-21-pew-pew-pew-pew","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/?p=2034","title":{"rendered":"D&D Week 21: Pew! Pew pew pew!"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>
\nWe divvy up the stuff and the sole surviving Dwarven miner starts assessing what needs to be done.<\/p>\n

I see a passage. Aleanghi sends down the bat. There’s somebody down there, coming our way. Turns out to be gnomes. And not friendly garden gnomes, mind you. These are Svirfneblin.<\/a> Gesundheit.<\/p>\n


\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> Palin steps out, puts her axe away, and raises her hand in greeting.
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> please don’t let them have the gift of flame.
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> The gnomes turn around and begin walking back down the passage.<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>you hear a faint, “ooompa loompa doompady dooo”<\/p>\n

I try to indicate that I’ll make it worth their while to talk by holding out a coin and pointing to it and to them. Next thing you know they’re shooting at me. I get out of the way and they turn around and walk off again.<\/p>\n

Val: <\/b><\/font>Lesson of the day, Gnomes hate being patronized by richer dwarves.<\/p>\n

We decide it’s a patrol from further down the passage and any element of surprise is gone, but that’s a battle for another day. We’ve spent a freakin’ month trying to get this machinery going, and that’s where we’re going to focus, by gum.<\/p>\n

While our Dwarven miner works on the machinery, a monstrous spider scuttles out from one of the overhead pipes. What could be another epic battle is cut short when, before the spider can do anything, I roll a natural 20 and confirm with another natural 20 for a critical hit.<\/p>\n

GM Vaschon:<\/b> Palin fires a crossbow bolt at a giant monstrous spider. She pierces the sac with a critical hit. The bolt soars through the body as the corpse of the spider falls to the ground.<\/i>
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> Take that!
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>…way to show off Heather
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Torkal actually pauses to clap.
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> That was pretty much a 1 shot kill. It had 3x the hit points than damage but you pierced a vital body part.<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>um, lets downtweak Heather.
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> Don’t nerf me!<\/p>\n

Our moment of triumph is short-lived when the GM starts mysteriously rolling dice…<\/p>\n

GM Vaschon:<\/b> oh neat….<\/i>
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> oh neat?? I don’t think I like that.
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> ok… As Palin vanquishes the spider your party observes 5 of these climbing down the lift ropes…<\/i>
\n


\n<\/a><\/center>
\n“Five of these” are the things above. They are Duergar dwarves<\/a>, which apparently hate regular Dwarves. Our Dwarven miner scuttles away in fear. We debate hiding so we can get the element of surprise. Instead:
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> Klyx recognizes the race and goes into a frenzy.<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>a frenzy?
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> Klyx cast magic missle on a dwarf.<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>w…wtf?
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> Wait, what?? One of us?
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> A duergar dwarf takes a deep hit with a magic missle.<\/i><\/p>\n

So much for the element of surprise. Next round, we all attack. After my amazing shot at the spider, I decide that I can do no wrong tonight.<\/p>\n

Palin:<\/b><\/font> I’m going to shoot it – spider style!
\nonlinehost: <\/b>Palin rolled 1 20-sided die: 1<\/i>
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>….. Except that you are the spider.
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> d’oh!
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> Palin misteps and has a premature firing, pegging Klyx with a bolt.<\/i>
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>PREMATURE BOLT FIRING Torkal gives Palin some Cialis
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>YOU PEGGED MAH BOY
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> oh my.
\nTvini rolls the maximum possible damage to our hireling Klyx.
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> OH MY.
\nTorkal: <\/b><\/font>Well done!
\nAleanghi: <\/b><\/font>Oh dear.
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>and we were all about to give you the lifetime achievement award too.
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>wtf
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> Klyx looks moderately wounded.<\/i>
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> “Sorry!”<\/p>\n

The hits keep coming. I roll another 1 later in combat, slicing into Torkal. Then Klyx stabs Aleanghi in the side.<\/p>\n

I manage to redeem myself slightly, though.<\/p>\n

Torkal: <\/b><\/font>Palin attacks ????
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> The wounded dwarf? there is a wounded dwarf, right?
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> Vaschon: Yes<\/i>
\nPalin hits and does 15 damage.
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>sheez
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> There WAS a wounded Dwarf.
\nGM Vaschon:<\/b> A duergar dwarf looks severely wounded.<\/i>
\nVal: <\/b><\/font>SHE can see Russia from her house.
\nPalin:<\/b><\/font> I can SHOOT Russia from my house.<\/p>\n

We finally kill all the duergar and stop right at midnight.<\/p>\n

GM Vaschon:<\/b> We’ll wrap here.\u00a0 The dwarf miner will repair the remainder of the pipes during the camp and we’ll pick up next week from here.<\/i><\/p>\n

And that’s what we’re doing tonight. Tune in next week to find out how we manage to nearly kill each other this time!
\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We divvy up the stuff and the sole surviving Dwarven miner starts assessing what needs to be done. I see a passage. Aleanghi sends down the bat. There’s somebody down there, coming our way. Turns out to be gnomes. And not friendly garden gnomes, mind you. These are Svirfneblin. Gesundheit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[76],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2034"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2034"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2034\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}