{"id":2012,"date":"2007-02-22T07:11:00","date_gmt":"2007-02-22T11:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/?p=2012"},"modified":"2007-02-22T07:11:00","modified_gmt":"2007-02-22T11:11:00","slug":"the-hobo-hustle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/?p=2012","title":{"rendered":"The Hobo Hustle."},"content":{"rendered":"

So I was at the weekly stitch night last night when Turtlegirl<\/a> pointed out that I had just told a story that was primo blogging material. And she’s right. I neglected to write about the capper to our crappy morning!
\n
\nYesterday after school, Emily and I went to the post office to mail off some Jayne hats. We parked where we usually do, very close to the entrance and to the vagrant who sits outside with a cardboard sign and a half-hidden bottle of liquor. This didn’t bother me. He’s been there a while, and he’s never bothered me or anyone else that I know of, so I figure “live and let live.” Today he was talking to another fella as we went in.<\/p>\n

As we got up to the counter, someone came in and said, “Hey, there are two guys fighting in the parking lot, you need to call 911.” From the expressions of the postal clerks, this isn’t unheard of. One yelled into the back, “Hey, Rocco! You need to call 911! Those guys are fightin’ again!” Then someone mentioned that they were all over everybody’s cars.<\/p>\n

Great.<\/p>\n

We were ready to go, but figured we’d just hang out for a while, so as not to get caught in the fracas. One of the employees, though, peeked out and said, “Go! You can go, go go!” So we did, with him beside us to run interference. Sure enough, there were two guys in the parking lot on the ground in a wrestler’s clinch. There was an SUV between us and them, so there wasn’t any real danger. My car also seemed to be okay, unlike the SUV which bore visible hoboprints. I hustled Emily into her seat, got in myself… and that’s when the police car pulled in immediately behind us, blocking us from leaving.<\/p>\n

I say again, “Great.”<\/p>\n

I asked Emily if she wanted to go back inside. No. Did she want to walk up to the pet store? No. Did she want to walk up to Subway and get a cookie? No. All she wanted to do was to sit in the car and wait. Maybe she was still a bit put out that I’d made her tie her own shoe in the post office. Maybe she was thrown by the two large men rolling around on the ground (which, mercifully, she couldn’t really see). Whatever the reason, we sat in our car for a good ten minutes while the police officer enacted a real life “COPS” right there.<\/p>\n

Hobo #1:<\/b> “We was just playin’ around! Look, I know this guy! This here’s Smokey Joe! Smokey Joe, you know me! We was just playin’, right?”<\/i><\/p>\n

Smokey Joe:<\/b> (silence)<\/p>\n

Hobo #1:<\/b> “C’mon, Smokey Joe!”<\/i><\/p>\n

Smokey Joe:<\/b> (silence)<\/p>\n

Hobo #1:<\/b> “Oh, MAN!”<\/i><\/p>\n

Soon, a second police car arrived, and the first one finally moved just enough to let us out. I don’t think he ever realized we were waiting. We went off to get a cookie from Starbucks like nothing had ever happened.<\/p>\n

I must say, after the Clash of the Titans, our day did improve markedly. Maybe that’s the rule. One “theater of the absurd” moment and then the rest of your day is golden.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I was at the weekly stitch night last night when Turtlegirl pointed out that I had just told a story that was primo blogging material. And she’s right. I neglected to write about the capper to our crappy morning!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[87],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2012"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2012"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2012\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissmyknits.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}