Em’s favorite book right now is this little gem from 1974, How Babies Are Made. It has paper cutouts of plants and animals and explains how things go, even showing a cutout man and woman tastefully covered up in bed. It’s extremely straightforward and age-appropriate. She likes for me to read this to her every night and answer questions. She had a lot of questions at first, like “Does having a baby hurt?” I fudged the answer, telling her it is uncomfortable, but there are medicines you can take so it doesn’t hurt. Sayeth Em, “I want those.”
Other questions include “What if the father had the baby,” “What if the baby doesn’t want to be born,” “What if the baby could take the umbilical cord home and play with it,” “Is there a way you can make yourself have twins,” and this classic about sperm coming out: “Like poop?” I feel like we’ve pretty much got everything straightened out as to how reproduction takes place, at least as much as is appropriate for a ten-year-old.
And so, with that background in mind, Em’s take on human reproduction, starring a salt and pepper shaker. Feel free to click to see larger versions.
Here’s Ms. Salt and Mr. Pepper. I love that she goes with “Ms.” instead of “Mrs.” That’s my girl. Ms. Salt and Mr. Pepper are keeping their distance in this photo for some reason, but that’s not stopping Mr. Pepper’s sperm from making their way to Ms. Salt. They both look pretty happy about it.
Em’s current favorite word, by the way, is “ovary.”
Fast forward to Ms. Salt, pregnant with a tiny little spice bottle. Awww. They both look so happy.
Whoa, not so happy anymore! No epidural for Ms. Salt! But she’s having a beautiful bouncing pepper shaker, so it’ll all be worth it. I like that a female Dr. Salt is delivering the baby. The book doesn’t mention midwives, but we’ve also talked about those. Note giant umbilical cord. I’m betting Baby Pepper is going to bring it home and play with it.
Em told her class on the first day of school that this was her favorite book, so she may become “that kid” on the playground that everybody else learns from. Maybe she can demonstrate with condiments in the cafeteria.
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