Work with me here, quadrupeds.
Can we have ONE FREAKING MONTH where one of the cats doesn’t break down?
Yeah, I said cats. You heard me.
Stupid orange pumpkin.
ETA: Here’s what was wrong with her. The faint of stomach should probably not read this.
They thought it was – and I am not making this up – abcessed anal glands. Yes, our little 17-pounder is now so fat that she cannot clean herself, and instead lies around with one leg in the air, displaying herself for the entire world to see.
We know she should lose weight. However, I feel we have to tend to the needs of the worst off cat in the house, namely the black and white one in the picture. He is diabetic and cannot afford to switch to a low-calorie diet. And I do not have the time or energy to maintain a rigorous feeding schedule in which one of them gets locked in the bathroom while the other one eats, and then vice versa. So the cat’s just going to have to stay fat until the black and white one kicks it.
Fortunately, her glands were not abcessed. Her nether region was just really, really filthy. As a result, she was quite pinkish red and raw down around her anus and vulva. We had cleaned her some last night, but apparently it was still filthy. Like, Exxon Valdez filthy. Like, requiring professional care filthy. As the vet said, “she’s gonna want to be sedated for this.”
Anyway, they got her cleaned up, and now I have antibiotic pills to give her twice a day, and also a salve that I have to rub around her anus two or three times a day for a few days until she’s not so raw.
I love animals, I really do, but this is the same little freak of nature that cost us $3000 in vet bills last Thanksgiving. And now I’m smearing diaper cream on her ass.
You know anybody who wants a cat?